If your child is being bullied, the problem needs to be handled sensitively and immediately. Here are some useful tips on how to cope with the problem
Most kids have been teased by a sibling or a friend at some point. And it’s usually not harmful when done in a friendly and mutual way – and both kids find it funny. But when teasing becomes hurtful, unkind, and consistent, it crosses the line into bullying and needs to stop.
Something like going to the bus stop or lunch break can become a nightmare for kids. Bullying can leave deep emotional scars that last for life. And in extreme situations, it can culminate in violent threats, property damage, or someone getting seriously hurt.
And even if bullying isn’t an issue in your house right now, it’s important to discuss it so your kids will be prepared if it does happen.
How you can help
The role of parents is vital in preventing and stopping bullying. For a lot of kids and teenagers, one of the best ways to solve a bullying problem is to tell a trusted adult.
If your child is a victim
1 Be aware of the following signs:
> Frightened of walking to or from school
> Unwilling to go to school
> Begs you to drive them to school
> Changes their route to school
> Begins doing poorly in school work
> Comes home regularly with clothes or books destroyed
> Comes home hungry (because lunch or lunch money has been taken)
> Becomes withdrawn
> Becomes distressed, stops eating, stops sleeping, or has nightmares…
> Has unexplained bruises or scratches
> Has their possessions go missing
- Asks for money or starts to steal money
> Continually ‘loses’ their pocket money
- Refuses to say what is wrong
> Becomes troubled, depressed, attempts suicide.
2 If you are worried that your child is being bullied, ask them directly rather than worry in silence.
3 Take bullying seriously. Believe your child and find out the facts when told about the incident.
4 Communicate with your child.
Reassure them that they have done nothing wrong and that there is nothing wrong with them, because they are being bullied. Do not make your child feel inferior because they are being bullied. It is best not to over-emphasise the victim role, yet at the same time it is important to give your child a chance to vent his/her feeling about being bullied.
5 Do not keep bullying a secret.
The power of the bully depends on the secrecy. Bringing the bullying out into the open is not easy on the victim, but things cannot be much worse than they already are for your child. Ultimately, bringing the situation into the open will improve things. If it is happening in school, talk immediately with the school about the matter, usually with the vice principal. If the bullying is happening outside the school it may be necessary to intervene and approach the parents of the bullies. If the bullying is serious and dangerous it may be necessary to follow a legal route.
6 Keep a written record if the bullying persists. It may be difficult, but it will provide evidence of who, what and when.
7 Devise strategies to help your child to cope better such as shouting “No!”, walking with confidence and running away. Do not encourage your child to hit back. It will only make matters worse.
Arrange to meet your child if bullying happens on the way to or from school
- Invite other children over to help your child make friends. A child who has friends is less likely to be bullied
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MORE INFO
Advice for Kids:
www.nehb.ie/coolschoolbullyfree/kids1.htm
Advice for parents:
www.independent.ie/education/features/how-to-stop-your-child-being-bullied-1504925.html
http://kidshealth.org/parent/question/school/bullying
